Residing

Patrick and I were sitting, sipping various beverages and talking yesterday and I said:
"Well you know, I have that residency that I'm going to in a couple of weeks...."
P:"What residency??"
M: "The one in Upstate NY, I'm there for 3 weeks"
and we realized that maybe, just maybe I had mentioned it, but maybe I hadn't with all of the talk of life and love that had been fluttering around in our brains.

Wow. How could one girl get so distracted.
Here is the wonderful scoop:
I was nominated and accepted to join the Dance Omi International Dance Residency as a dancer and choreographer who is curious about collaboration and process.
And yes, I am going-
To be fed good food (from all I've heard, its yummy stuff up there) be up in the Hudson Valley and dancing with other curious souls...I'm excited..and have been in a bit of denial that I am really going...

Looks like I have no choice but to accept and enjoy!
more on what my hopes are to work on soon -

Saving me

Sitting down to start this post the song appeared that I had hoped would surface in my Pandora loop -
"She's Saving Me" by the Indigo Girls....there is a calm sadness to this song...and sense of hope that begins an awakening of my own Empty.
"I was born with a hole in my heart
the size of my landlocked travels...
the sky pours out a biblical rain
the day so still the beauty gives you pain"

Empty skin has become a sweet
wander of small details
gestures of love and an
ability to want and lose....

and I wonder quietly where the Empty lives during happiness -

I think I am building something that explores both a sense of Have and Lost wound amongst small stories of the in between.

This one might need a script.

Wandering to focus

Again. going for a walk in the woods helps get the work done.
I feel more focus, love (even focus in regards to that love) and openness then I did before I left the house.
Green stuff, sunshine and breezes will do that.......

Hit (Self Recognition 301)

or Diaries of a Pissed off Artist

I hit a wall last night
But today have found a new
and sudden
point of complete and total frustration.
If you know me, you may know that this builds slowly
can usually be controlled, brought back down to earth and realistic expectations with good conversation, some to-do lists and a sense that I am not alone in these life/art endeavors.
If you are getting to know me.
You might not know that.

I can say this:
- I am driven to completed action
- Process is paramount
but so is getting the thing done (whatever it is)
- Missing deadlines makes me nuts*
*this is a new discovery for me...
I spent my life not doing my homework...
interesting that I am so driven to complete things now-a-days
- I am capable of thinking its a good idea to shed EVERYTHING
and almost everyone in order to make sure the dance gets done
(p.s. That's not the best idea. Really.)
- I need to make the dances happen and I will go to as many lengths as I and my limits will let me to make sure they do.
(I also need to pay rent. but thats a different kind of need)


in these moments I also think
"What Would Batman Do?"
thanks to Dr. McNinja
which may not be the best thought ever...
our lovely Dark Knight is not known for his healthy sense of boundaries, limitations or relationships.

All hands

A new dance is like making bread

Folding information into the bodies
Letting it sit - to rise on its own

Pushing it around until the ingredients begin a new reaction

Letting it sit
and rise

get a good lather going
Rinse,
and Repeat.

Oops - my brain became a hair salon after the dance bakery.
Whats the point?
Process, letting it go, and letting it sink in.
Until the information is kinetic and organic to the story.