Tuesday, May 08, 2007


After a couple of quiet weekdays of being able to be a bit spoiled and spend time on an application, while getting laundry done and managing to fit in a nap
I wonder at my huge sadnesses of the weekend.

and I wonder if it has as much to do with vulnerability and joy as it does with sadness.

I'm experiencing the kind of sadness that sits dormant for a bit, and then isn't. At all.

I'm thinking about a piece based on flight and decisions.
the freedom in having a solid base to take flight from.
wondering what happens to the mind when everything that was once solid is no longer.
when a life partner of 60 years disappears.....carried away by a blinking truck
until he is next seen still in a strangly shaped bed.
Nothing is real unless Sinatra is singing.
He that always fixed and measured is gone,
left next to his space is the she that cleaned up afterwards...
she is cleaning
too much...
repeated motions...a lifetime of repeated motions.
Comfort in repetition.

And we are all taking up the same amount of space we always have, while life keeps shifting the playing ground.


Dame Wendy said...

That kind of sadness is the hardest for me. In a moment everything changes and I can't quite get back to the moment before the moment. It attacks.

Nothing to do but experience it and push through it when it's the right time.

Melissa Riker said...

that's exactly it Wendy -
Thanks to Patrick I had a seat-mate afterwards...
but man I was tired at the end.

Patrick said...

I've been thinking too about the flight that is possible when one trusts one's foundation... and realizing that part of my ongoing problem is not feeling like I HAVE a foundation here, other than some not terribly satisfying routines... but thank you, my dear, for being the beautiful exception to this.

Melissa Riker said...

Always always sweet Patrick