My friend Daniel posted this word last week sometime -
And its been turning over and over in my mind since.....
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con-fab-u-late
1. To talk casually; chat.
2. Psychology To fill in gaps in one's memory with fabrications that one believes to be facts.
[Latin confabulari, confabulat- : com- , com + fabulari, to talk (from fabula, conversation; see fable).] confabulationn, confabulatorn, confabulatoryadj
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How the mind puts together stories... and how they are accepted-
Sparks interesting thoughts also that "to talk casually" is the same word as "fabrications"
Perhaps it is getting closer to the bit I said to friend Erin the other day "A really good liar doesn't always know they are lying, because they believe themselves in that moment."
So "casually" able to "fabricate"...
However, for those of you playing along at home.....(most of you?)
- Confabulation is NOT lying -
It is a psychological disorder -
I imagine it to be much like my Grandmother's conversations in her last year during moments of dementia. We would jump from a reality of 1940, to now, to a news program she had seen, to something completely made up.... all warped/wrapped up in one story, with her as the main character...no knowledge on her part that it wasn't exactly true.
I miss those stories -but that's another entry entirely.
But.. what about those of us that do not have a disorder.... what about the moments when our realities don't mesh with what is in front of us...
You have heard it plenty of times: "I couldn't see it, even though it was right in front of me"
What do our minds want us to see?
How much of it is patterning....and how much of it will go away with time and change of scenery?
We are patterned, our brains have pathways that get used more regularly...we tell ourselves stories to get used to the way things are.... or are not.
The song by John Doe "Golden State"... not sure why it comes to mind with this word... maybe because of his raw and fantastic imagery...both sweet and bloody - the two things that combine to make relationships, people... memories stick together or fall apart - each person with their story of how it happened and why. Course...I don't know what "the feeling you get in the Golden State" is.... but I know what it is to walk away...and to be walked away from.
Sitting with Soph today going over the step by step process of the evening of work we are presenting in a few weeks I realize how far I have come in the imagining of this evening. and also realize how much more needs to get done. as I sit with that for a while here's an announcement for the show - (of course, my guess is that those of you that read this....also get my shameless emails..... hmmm... Right Before You Fell...
Merce Cunningham Studio 55 Bethune St., NYC March 22-25, 2007
DIRECTIONS to the WestBeth building via Subway: Take the A,C,E, or L to 14th St. & 8th Ave. Walk down 8th Ave - it meets Hudson St. at Bethune St. Make a Right (crossing over Hudson.) Walk two blocks West. The WestBeth is on the corner of Washington & Bethune.