New year

Good evening, good morning and hello! I've missed you! Here's a quick month and a half in pictures......

Madeline and Zoe in "Bluette" as part of Blueprints with Jeff and Patrick

Stubby "Vert" Noel


Snow um..Angel? maybe Snow Imp.


Performance for Artichoke Dance last weekend for APAP with Cary....

And now back to our regularly (really) scheduled blogging (about dances)
Miss you, love you, see you soon.

Blues Hit Hard

First let me say - I LOVED doing our show this weekend. It felt Good and Right in the larger sense of things...
The bill we presented, the space in its craziness and Six Figures as a warm and welcoming company...all of it - I am comfortable and creative there - and that is wonderful.
So why is my brain so focused on the smaller things?
Well, perhaps because they are not smaller, they are actually unfortunate reality that has to get looked at when you stop moving....
and here I am.
I've landed.
After months of non-stop dance making and performance producing, I seem to have stopped, for at least a moment.
And in that moment I feel like I have been stabbed with something sharp.
Something that hits and then turns, questioning my ability to judge priority.
I am bleeding the green of serious financial issues and some red of heartache and fear that this company I have been working towards may not survive.
I watched Zoe and Madeline be exactly what they are: funny, smart, lovely, playful but intense performers and felt joy at their skill with our work together and a steep drop of loss at the fact that our audiences were so small.

And here's the rub - the audience that we had? They were wonderful and loving and LOVED the show...Loved Patrick's reminders to lick life just a bit more, Jeff's discovery of hats, light bulb eyes and cute girls in the dark....all of it. But. As the Artistic Director of a company it is my job to be sure that the company is following its mission (oh, we ARE) and making decisions based on the long term health of the company.

Am I?
How is it possible that what I seem to be requesting is one more reminder that we are loved - because, damn it, I know we are.
We are loved.
And Enjoyed and granted Laughter and many Gifts of Time and Finance from dear people that Believe in Us.

Its simply time to keep pushing. Giving birth one year at a time......

Sharing a Little Blue Love Party

Here it is!
A Pop a fast spinning and BANG I seem to have landed my work on stage with two warm talented and wonderful artists - conveniently enough they are also two of my favorite people in the world.
Jeff - living at Odin's Aviary
&
Patrick's Loose Ends

Jeff's Lloyd Schlemiel (who I misspell constantly, and may have again just now...)
is painfully funny and wonderful - he borrowed Madeline and the two of them stole the hearts of our audience!

Patrick's roaringly passionate and wonderful Bromios owns and I mean OWNS love and sensuality in an in your face reminder of life's small and gorgeous moments.....

My biggest failing in the show has been my inability to get Sharon's (knitsisters - sharon estacio) beautiful film to project on the vaulted ceiling! I am hoping I find a way this afternoon to make it happen..... wish me luck!

But, Sharon forgiving me my technical issues - I am incredibly proud of this show and the integration of characters and search we have created together - as Jeff said - we are absolutely not in this alone - we are support for one another and playing along with the band of the show as it brings us all together as a cast of wacky dancing characters!

I am back and I feel like I want to tell you.....

I have spent the past week vaguely thinking about community, and the past 24 hours thinking deeply about sustainability, in action as well as lifestyle (Sweet Patrick, I know you think about this often as does Dearest Jeff...maybe we all think about it....) anyway - its been on my mind - will write more about it later (I promise!)
That aside, these things were upfront in my thoughts today, and it is amazing to me how my attention was turned to the small details of kindness as I went about my morning.....
I sent this in an email to H today:

.....serendipitous things are happening today -
1. stopped into Blue (Whatever it is) Bakery and spoke to the guy behind the counter a bit, then met a girl who is working there who is also a dancer and worked with Lynn in her Park project - if she was good to work with, maybe I'll kidnap her to dance this winter

2. walking from Ozzies to Q/B trains there was a kid who is clearly living on the street - he asked me to buy him something - at first I just said no, but then realized due to my hunger-lack-of-logic on 7th Ave - I had purchased not just an Olive twist from Blue whatever it is but also a Carrot Bran muffin at Ozzies with coffee #2 of the day -
So I gave him the muffin - he seemed genuinely pleased.

3. At Union square the farmer's market was out and going - bought a new muffin at Baker's Bounty and saw the girl behind the counter take money, then give money back to a guy that works the fish stall - he was grateful to get two cookies for free

4. Saw a woman stoop to grab errant earphones that had fallen from another woman's bag and give them back with smiles exchanged.

5. Found a new mobile health clinic - I love these things - have a soft spot for them because of my mom - but I love that there are some people out there who understand that to keep some populations healthy you have to go to them - they are afraid of hospitals/cost/immigration whatever - I got their info and talked for a bit (realized I should have had her take my blood for a lyme test) and left

Haven't felt this kind of socially circulating good-will in a while....

and received back from H this beautiful reminder of the importance of small moments (I'm sure most of you have read this - I seem to remember seeing it a while ago):

Just got out of meeting. Starving.

Your great day reminds me of this -

Dropped Into Still Waters
The Ripple Effect
In a world of six billion people, it's easy to believe that the only way to initiate profound transformation is to take extreme action. Each of us, however, carries within us the capacity to change the world in small ways for better or worse. Everything we do and think affects the people in our lives, and their reactions in turn affect others. As the effect of a seemingly insignificant word passes from person to person, its impact grows and can become a source of great joy, inspiration, anxiety, or pain. Your thoughts and actions are like stones dropped into still waters, causing ripples to spread and expand as they move outward. The impact you have on the world is greater than you could ever imagine, and the choices you make can have far-reaching consequences. You can use the ripple effect to make a positive difference and spread waves of kindness that will wash over the world.

Should the opportunity arise, the recipient of a good deed will likely feel compelled to do a good deed for someone else. Someone feeling the effects of negative energy will be more likely to pass on that negative energy. One act of charity, one thoughtful deed, or even one positive thought can pass from individual to individual, snowballing until it becomes a group movement or the ray of hope that saves someone's life. Every transformation, just like every ripple, has a point of origin. You must believe in your ability to be that point of origin if you want to use the ripples you create to spread goodness. Consider the effect of your thoughts and actions, and try to act graciously as much as possible.

A smile directed at a stranger, a compliment given to a friend, an attitude of laughter, or a thoughtful gesture can send ripples that spread among your loved ones and associates, out into your community, and finally throughout the world. You have the power to touch the lives of everyone you come into contact with and everyone those people come into contact with. The momentum of your influence will grow as your ripples move onward and outward. One of those ripples could become a tidal wave of love and kindness.