Continuum

I am focused on moments between things.
Actions, people, thoughts, words...all of it....
I jokingly called it an obsession this evening - but I'm realizing that (maybe) I am not joking.

I make dances to explore moments. And to have the freedom to dive as deep into a moment in time between people, experiences or decisions of enormous weight to find out why we do it (or don't do it.)

Generally it is a 50/50 chance that a reason or exploration will unearth things hilariously funny vs. something heartbreaking.

Something you should know:
Pressing Empty is a wild combination of:
- the sense of empty that exists when someone unexpectedly disappears from your life.
- the state of empty that occurs right before, or right after, a decision is made.
.....and
the warning my dad always gave me about driving on fumes.
thus, the name: Pressing Empty.

The tagline?
........decisions, panic & lots and lots of tulle.

Emptying the Works

Right now seems to be about dreams becoming real and hopes taking shape.
Kinesis Project now has a studio to work out of - it may be temporary - 6 months or so - but it may not be - it could last quite a while.
So, with a hopeful glance towards options of income and a forward thrust into ideas that have been dormant for a year - we keep going into the beginnings.

Zoe and Madeline have been joined by new blood, Rebbecca, as of yesterday -
I am asking them to explore ideas of empty spaces, last minute decisions and escape routes
Not to mention my request for a "lovely" phrase - that threw 'em!

Just to explain a hair.... its not usual for my dances to have bouree or steps that could get threaded into a respectable petite allegro phrase....

I find that for right now I am using them as tools to thread the unbelievable state of lovely that popular magazines might have a bride strive for.....while mixing it in with some things that I consider lovely: strength, determination and freedom.

One thing I am sure of...I can't seem to make a dance lacking humor -

So even though there is much loss getting explored in this work - there is also the hilarity of the actions of not letting go, or a last minute decision to run for the border...

All respectable choices in the right situation....

Memories and Currents

this was written and posted two years ago.

and now, here I am -

My question to ponder in rehearsal tomorrow is:

In a dance about an Empty and the juxtaposition of hope co-existing with a confusing and surprising loneliness - where do you place the next step? the good kind of missing.

the warmth of possibility. 

Tomorrow's recipe might look like this:

Start with a bit of Empty, mixed with a touch of Memory and a dash of Hope.

Or it might have some of this:

In

leaning backwards

into a sense of There

melting forward

to a stubble kiss

Flight is a blurry release

of

time

and worry

'til clear water reality

tumbles though

this cloudy mindscape

through easy walks

direct and playful eyes

catch

distracted question marks

with a warm request

of

Now

Moving

It is time for the next part of this multi-month transition.

There is a historical park across from the new place
and this is Kinesis Project's new subway corner












I'll be on Payson..(right at the park)

Seattle and Here

Back in the folds of Brooklyn.
for now.
this is what I can say of travels:
Friends, near and far are a good, very good thing
Life changes. sometimes quickly...sometimes in half breath moments that aren't detected until later.
Asking for what life might give you is allowed.
Joy is watching children stare at parents with wonder,
mountains turn pink in the sunset,
ducks diving into water head first leaving their fluffy bottoms topside for all to see...
And...
Getting a kiss when you want one, enjoying simple easy moments, missing them when they are over....and hoping you are given them again.

Empty Clarity

There are questions I was never willing to ask

The feeling of not having you has been overwhelming in moments even now.

My dreams are more concrete.

I can reach out and feel where you aren't, while feeling on my skin where you can be remembered.

Tears are functioning as a release of questions.

Next

Tomorrow is our day in the studio -
Time for dreams and negative space.
Negative space has such a, well, negative sound.
Maybe there is something else I can call it.
Outerspace, auraspace, livespace, live skin, empty skin...

Hmmm...empty skin might be the way to go...

Thats what I am working with...how your skin, your being feels when he/she is there...
your person
next to you or near you...and then what is it that is missing when they are not. Like the space on the pillow or the dent in the bed, or how big a small apartment can feel with only one body in it.
I told someone that I had allotted time in my day for standing near him.
It was the truth, but I am still working over for myself what that allotted time fulfills.

Chosen...

And. Time in the studio is always worth it.
especially on a snowy day when you stand the chance of getting caught by eyes that matter (just enough) while in the middle of a movement thought
and that thought just feels good ...
after warming up for a half hour and working out the kinks for another half hour
that last hour in the huge studio with NO MIRRORS and snow falling outside
is a bit like heaven.

A Recipe...or, Commission if you Will.....

Take the same text - Kinesis Project's "Standing Room"
The concept of being in the same place at the same time and riffing on it.
Use dancers and/or non-dancers to see what answers come with the request of
understanding.
Is this a commission? I believe it is.
I ask the world-wide creative community to Play....
Here is the text:

This.
This is what I'm saying:
If I stayed here, and you
Came here
Then we would be standing in the same spot
at the same moment.
This one.
And that would be
Lack of distance
Covered by bodies -
and I wouldn't have to miss you,
or
Think I missed you.

This is how we do it:

RePast...II

Views from the Street
first draft.

it resurges.
walks past you
on a too warm day.
the cool warmth of old lovers
in eyes and words.
married, said. happy, underneath.

choices. of cobblestone streets
front stoop views.
white and black paws.
kitchen table giggles.

both late. late for work. late bloomers.
but blooming.
open
choices are open doors.
to vows, future, uptown healing, support....
or dreams, flight and future choices.

Birds and Lions

Still questioning -
In part because of life....but also because this is the "questions" time of the new work process.

If each choice in life was a flat, rounded river rock... where would it fit best under your feet?

What does it really mean to know what you want?

There was a while in life where I was quite convinced that if I felt I knew what would happen, if I could see it in my mind - then that was exactly what wouldn't happen. At that point it occurred to me that what you want should not be limited by your imagination.
Since our imaginings are only what we have seen, or read, or experienced, or can fantasize about.... all of those, even to their highest extreme, are not as boundless as life's possibilities.

For instance "If you can dream it, you can become it" - what if that stems from something a bit less fabulous and more wordy like
"If you've thought of it it's probably because you are capable of it so shut up and go for it."
Less fantastic and heroic yes, but it has a ring of truth to it...no?
Anyway, it's just a thought.

I have dreams of flight.
The first dream of flight I can remember is combined with falling down the stairs in the farmhouse I grew up in.
I was pretty little. I was still having dreams with my favorite blanket involved. (Leo. He was shaped like a lion.)

In the dream, I was attempting a luge-like maneuver via Leo.
(Don't try this at home...stairs don't work like a luge track. Considering the late discovery of this fact, I got lucky.)
As Leo and I bumped down the first set of stairs and came around the corner to take on the final, much longer set..... we took flight.
Ok, yes we were still inside, going down the stairs.....
but the bumpy ride had suddenly stopped, yet we were still going.
It was a gentle, swooping decent down that staircase.

Dime

What is intimacy beyond touch?

Why is it so satisfying to be alone, yet in other moments feel like you might shatter from loneliness?

What are you are standing on, and how much of it was a conscious decision to have it be there?